


Don’t Let the Commander Pilot the Shuttlecraft!

by Gatherer_of_Clouds



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Also inspired by Don’t Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus! by Mo Williams, Author regrets nothing, Bedtime Stories, Chakotay (Star Trek) Crashes A Shuttle, Crack Treated Seriously, Crew as Family, Episode: s04e12 Mortal Coil, F/M, Fluff and Humor, It’s inspired by the scenes where Neelix is putting Naomi into bed, Leola Root, No beta we die like Klingons, incredibly light angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-30
Updated: 2020-05-30
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:33:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24447391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gatherer_of_Clouds/pseuds/Gatherer_of_Clouds
Summary: In which Neelix writes a bedtime story to teach Naomi about the command structure on Voyager (sorta), and why NOT to let Commander Chakotay pilot a shuttlecraft (most definitely).
Relationships: Chakotay/Kathryn Janeway, Neelix & Naomi Wildman
Comments: 13
Kudos: 38





	Don’t Let the Commander Pilot the Shuttlecraft!

**Author's Note:**

> Me: I should really be working on my longer stories.
> 
> Me literally five seconds later: *GASP* A shiny new idea!!!!

“Good morning!”

“Neelix, what’s on the menu?” Tom Paris leaned on the counter and peaked into the kitchen.

“Well, this morning I made a leola root twist on your classic pancakes,” he scraped burnt mush off the pan and on to a plate, “I will admit, they came out a bit messy, but I can assure you that the taste is scrumptious,” he patted his stomach, and held the plate out.

“Uh actually, I think I’ll just have some coffee this morning,”

“Nonsense!” The jovial chef pushed the plate into his hands, “Go sit down, and I’ll bring you some coffee. An officer who works as hard as you do can’t have an empty stomach!”

“Thanks,” he wearily smiled, and took the plate to an unoccupied table. He plopped the plate down and scrutinized its contents. The dirty blonde lieutenant’s stomach growled embarrassingly loud. He really did need to eat, and they didn’t smell too nauseating, so he stabbed it with a fork and shoved it into his mouth. He shuttered, and swallowed it as quickly as he could without choking.

“Good morning, Mr. Paris,”

“Ensign,” Tom looked up from his depressing breakfast and saw Samantha and Naomi Wildman standing in front of him, “Please sit down. You look like you’ve seen better days. Have you been sleeping alright?”

“I haven’t been sleeping at all,” she rubbed her dark swollen eyes, “Naomi’s been keeping me up again. Not even Neelix ‘dispelling the monsters’ and talking about Talaxian Heaven is getting her to wind down anymore,” She pulled out the chair for her daughter to climb on to, “I don’t know how she’s so energized,”

“I’m sorry,” he replied sympathetically, “I would offer to babysit, but I don’t think that B’Elanna would appreciate it after pulling back to back shifts in engineering,” he rubbed his neck sheepishly, “Want to share some of Neelix’s leola root pancakes? They certainly woke me up,” He edged the plate towards the two ladies.

“That won’t be necessary!” Neelix appeared almost magically with a pot of coffee, two cups, and another plate filled with his abominable replacement for pancakes.

“Good morning, Neelix,” Ensign Wildman yawned. Neelix handed her the pancakes and poured the coffee.

“Morning Neelix!” Naomi jumped up and down in her seat. He ruffled her hair, and sat down as well.

“Now what’s this about you not going to sleep?” He frowned slightly and rested his chin on his fist. She mimicked his facial expression and folded her pale twig like arms.

“I don’t wanna stay in bed. Sleep is boring,”

“Trust me you’ll learn to love it,” Paris coughed down some more pancakes, “Have you tried bedtime stories? I was a pretty rowdy kid, and they always worked with me,” he took a swig of coffee.

“Yes, but I’m terrible at that sort of thing,” she rubbed her temples.

“Maybe I could try! I’m already in there anyway scaring away monsters of course. I’ll make up a story, and tonight, you’ll get some rest,” he patted the exhausted woman’s arm. 

“Yay! Thank you Neelix!” Naomi cheered.

“Yes thank you, so much,” Ensign Wildman nodded gratefully.

“Lieutenant Paris to sickbay! Please hurry!” The Doctor’s voice chirped from his combadge.

“On my way, Doc,” he jumped up, and ran out of the mess hall.

“I’ll save your leola root pancakes!” Neelix shouted.

The fierce captain of Voyager, Kathryn Janeway, marched into sickbay with a closed off expression on her face. Paris and the Doctor were tidying up after treating Chakotay and Tuvok for an hour or two.

“Doctor,” she called hoarsely.

“Yes, Captain,” he lifted his head up from various medical instruments.

“Chakotay and Tuvok. Will they be alright?”

“Yes I believe so. After my, and Mr. Paris’, medical expertise and the rescue team’s impeccable timing, both Chakotay and Tuvok will be fit as a fiddle for tomorrow,”

“I assure you, Captain. I am perfectly fine. It was the Commander who took the worst of it,” Tuvok stood up only to be pushed back down on to the biobed.

“I said tomorrow, Mr. Tuvok,” The hologram and Vulcan began a glaring competition which Janeway stepped in the middle of.

“You heard him, Tuvok. Lie down. That’s an order,” She lightly scolded.

“As you wish, Captain,” he relented and lay back down. The Doctor smirked.

“Where’s...”

“Over there. He looks worse then he actually is,” Paris spoke up, and pointed to the commander who looked a bit worse for wear, but was breathing unhindered. She let out a tiny puff of relief, and walked over to him.

“I’ll have to order you never to get into a shuttle again if this keeps happening, Chakotay,” no one commented on the wobbly tone of her voice, or how she delicately traced the lines of his tattoo above his closed eye.

“You can go, Mr. Paris,” The Doctor murmured, “I can handle the reports,”

“Thanks,” he nodded once and left the room, only pausing momentarily to look back at his resting commander and captain holding his limp hand.

“Tom!” Neelix jogged up to him, “Do you have a moment?”

“Sure,” he grinned and leaned against the bulkhead. 

“Firstly, are Commander Chakotay and Mr. Tuvok alright?” His eyebrows drew together in concern.

“They’ll be fine. You heard about it that quickly?”

“Word travels quickly around here. I heard it was one terrible crash,”

“They seriously shouldn’t let him step foot inside a shuttle ever again,” Paris shook his head.

“Secondly, I worked very hard since you left to come up with the perfect story for Naomi,” he handed him a data pad, “I want you to read it over and make sure it’s up to bedtime standards,”

“Alright,” Tom chuckled and scanned the story, “It isn’t bad per say, but it could use some work,” Oh who was he kidding? No child was going to be entertained by listening to the lifecycle of a leola root plant.

“How so?”

“The purpose of bedtime isn’t supposed to necessarily teach the kid some facts,” he tapped his chin thoughtfully, “it’s supposed to teach them a moral or something. Anything that’ll be useful in their little world. Like sharing toys or how to stay safe, or something,”

“My young cousins found a story similar to this very entertaining when they were younger,” Neelix pouted.

“Yeah, but it needs to be something that she’ll understand because she’s not exactly around the aeroponics bay too much,”

“Understood. My next draft will be improved tenfold,” Neelix took his story back, and began walking away.

“Nice. Oh, and Neelix,” he called over his shoulder, “make sure to put pictures in somewhere. Kids love those after all,”

“Yes, sir!”

Much later, when Ensign Wildman commed Neelix asking for help to put Naomi to bed, he stood up proudly and gripped his story along with pictures to accompany the story, which he hand drew himself. They weren’t the best, but they were decent. Besides, Neelix knew his true talent lay in the kitchen making culinary masterpieces.

“Alright, now that all monsters have been driven from your bedroom,” he patted the duvet, and Naomi reluctantly climbed under the covers, “I wrote you the perfect story, but I’ll read it if you promise to go to bed sleep through the whole night,”

“I promise,” she grabbed her stuffed animal and squeezed it.

“Alright,” He smiled up at Ensign Wildman, who gave a tired wave back and watched them both fondly from he doorframe, “It’s called, Don’t Let the Commander Pilot the Shuttlecraft by Neelix,” he cleared his throat, “Hello. I’m Captain Janeway of the Federation Starship Voyager,” Neelix began in a poor vocal imitation of the strong willed woman, “It’s my job to give orders to help the crew get home, and keep things running smoothly on Voyager. I have a very important job for you, crewmen. Don’t let Commander Chakotay pilot the shuttlecraft on this away mission,” Naomi snickered and nodded at the brightly colored picture of Captain Janeway, “Hi there it’s me, Lieutenant Paris,” Neelix continued showing her a drawing of Tom in engineering, “Remember, the captain said to leave piloting to me on this away mission. B’Elanna’s still angry about the last shuttle,” Neelix changed the picture to a sketch of the mangled up shuttle from earlier that day and an angered B’Elanna Torres, “I wouldn’t talk to her right now, she’s very angry,” Neelix turned to look at Naomi who was engrossed in the story, “You should stay away from angry Klingons. Nothing good can happen when Klingons get angry,” Naomi tilted her head of blonde locks, “Lieutenant B’Elanna Torres might have quite the temper, but she’s very skilled with technology, as she is the Chief of Engineering, and she is a very good friend,” Neelix cleared his throat and pulled up a picture of a dour Vulcan security officer, “Greetings. I am Lieutenant Commander Tuvok. I keep everyone on board Voyager safe, and behaving like proper Starfleet officers should,” Neelix tried his best to sound monotone and emotionless, but it was incredibly difficult.

“What does ‘proper’ mean’?”

“Oh, it means real or right. Good Starfleet Officers follow the rules and are kind to other people,” he patted her head, “especially other aliens they meet,” Neelix frowned. He should’ve put that in the book! Oh well, he could always go back and add it later.

“I’ll be a proper Starfleet Officer!” She said bouncing in her bed. Neelix chuckled and kept reading.

“I have calculated, with my Vulcan knowledge and logic, that this mission is 56.4% more likely to succeed with Commander Chakotay not piloting the shuttle. So, I have advised the Captain not to let him do so on this away mission. Now, you should hurry along. We don’t have time to waste,”

“It’s Seven of Nine and The Doctor!” Naomi clapped her hands when she saw the next drawing.

“That’s right,” Neelix smiled, and cleared his throat once more, “I am The Emergency Medical Holographic Program or simply Doctor. I am also the Chief Medical Officer,”

“What do you think a Chief Medical Officer does, Naomi?” Ensign Wildman sat down beside her daughter, and ran her fingers through her hair.

“He makes people feel better when they get boo-boos?” The adults nodded.

“Right now, I am healing Seven of Nine. She might’ve been a Borg, but now she is one of us. So, it is important for me to heal her injuries. To keep more people out of my sick bay, make sure that Commander Chakotay doesn’t pilot that shuttle,”

“Neelix it’s you!” Naomi grinned up him and then her mother and pointed at the picture of the Talaxian in the mess hall. Neelix was incredibly happy to use his normal voice. Impressions were harder then they looked.

“Hi! It’s Neelix, the chef and moral officer aboard Voyager! Take some snacks for the road, oh, and tell Commander Chakotay not to pilot the shuttle. Many people would be really sad if he crashed it, and that’s not good for morale. Or for anyone on the shuttle’s stomach,” Finally, Neelix pulled up the last photo of Ensign Kim and Commander Chakotay.

“Are we all ready to go on the away mission?” Neelix read in Commander Chakotay’s resonating voice, “As the Commander, It’s my job to carry out Captain Janeway’s orders, to give my own, and to help her run Voyager,”

“I think we are ready, Commander,” He tried his best to sound like Harry, but he couldn’t really make it exactly right. This caused Naomi to giggle and cover her mouth, “Any last orders from the Captain?”

“Don’t pilot the shuttle, Commander!” She yelled at the illustration.

“Why’s that?” Neelix’s own smile stretched wider. Naomi tapped her chin, and her eyes narrowed.

“Oh because uh, Captain Janeway says so, and Mr. Tuvok and The Doctor want you to be safe. Oh and B’Elanna will get mad, and mad Klingons are scary!”

“All good reasons. Alright Mr. Paris, I’ll leave piloting to you,” Neelix cleared his throat for the final time, and switched back to his normal voice again, “The away mission was a success, the shuttle was in one piece, and everyone was happy on board Voyager. The end!”

“What do you say to Neelix?” 

“Thank you, Neelix,” Naomi yawned, and wrapped her arms around the brown plush.

“No problem. Now remember you promised to sleep,” he waved his finger, but he didn’t have to worry because Naomi’s eyelids began to slide shut.

“Goodnight,” Ensign Wildman kissed the top of her sleeping daughter’s head, and commanded the lights to turn off, “I can’t thank you enough Neelix. You’re amazing, I wish I could put her to sleep as quickly and effectively as you do,” she sighed.

“It’s really no trouble. I’ll see you well rested for breakfast tomorrow!”

Neelix’s miniature bedtime story was a hit for the young hybrid. She would demand the story to be read to her (by Neelix, naturally) every night, (or whenever she would go to sleep because in space it is technically night all the time, but regardless) and every night she would hop into bed excitedly. Her fear of monsters that once prevented her from stepping foot in her bedroom without Neelix, seemed to have been left far behind her. All she needed now to sleep was her favorite bedtime story. 

Of course, as Neelix said, word travels fast, and it was only a matter of tim before it would reach the senior staff sooner or later. Paris was the first to find out the subject matter of Neelix’s revised story. He was caught between thinking it was the most hilarious thing ever and fearing for his life. B’Elanna found out soon after him, and she approved and appreciated the message of leaving Klingons alone when they’re angry. Tuvok considered it illogical and disrespectful drivel. Harry and The Doctor found it to be humorous, but neither said so out loud. Seven of Nine thought it was irrelevant, and couldn’t be bothered to make an opinion on the matter.

“Personally, I think it’s adorable,” Janeway hid her smirk behind her coffee mug.

“I’m not that bad,” Chakotay rolled his eyes playfully.

“Sure,” Janeway laughed and wrapped an arm around his shoulder, “Frankly, I’m just glad you’re in once piece, Commander,”

“I’ll never hear the end of this, will I Kathryn?” He feigned annoyance, but his glowing eyes gave him away.

“Never,” her smile beamed like a transporter back at him, and Chakotay couldn’t hold back a dimpled grin.


End file.
